Tangled Yarn

I feel home sick. I don't know what for, exactly. I just feel like I am missing something. I have this deep longing and I can't get it to go away. Maybe when everything of this world leaves us feeling dissatisfied, that means we aren't really meant for this world. Is that the God-Shaped Hole I hear so much about? Nothing on this earth is enough to fill it. A wise lady reminded me of that recently. We have needs so deep and so great that only God is Big Enough for that job....

I got into bed three times tonight and just could not fall asleep. I felt restless...........And one thing kept coming to my mind. It was about something a friend told me recently. I am really thankful that friend, Greg, is doing so well. He had a very serious surgery recently. I was at their house a couple of weeks before he went it for it. He looked calm. He looked unshaken. I was amazed. I have this (huge) tendency to freak out over things like that, and I had a hard time even being there because I was so nervous FOR him. He stood in the kitchen doing dishes. He said something that struck me. It went something like this. He said he came to the point where he went to God, and just opened his hands to Him. In his hands was a ball of yarn all tangled beyond repair. He said to God, "Here.... can you fix this please? Because I really have made a mess of it and I can't quite figure out how to straighten it out..."
I have thought of that a lot. We can't fix much. Others can't fix it for us. How can "broken man" fix "broken man" anyway? I think it's better to just hand it over. That is step one, I suppose....
So I am going to try to sleep one more time. But before I fall asleep, I'm gonna hand my tangled yarn over. I am getting frustrated by it. I am tempted to stomp it, or throw it away. But instead I will say,
"Ummmmmmm, God, can you please unravel this for me? Because I sort of want to scream my head off trying to figure it out........Oh, and Thank You."