Friday, January 15, 2010

How He Loves Me

I need to write. I don't have anything very funny to say. I don't have anything interesting. No news, now strong viewpoints. I just need to write. I feel a bit overwhelmed these days. I have a lot of questions that don't have answers screaming back at me.

That takes patience.
That takes strength.
That takes faith.

I am not very good at any of these things.

I can't even wait in a line.
I am a baby.
I doubt almost everything.

I know that when I want to just freak out and run down the road there is only One place I can go. There is only one Safe Place. There is only One Person who can really handle me at my worst. And I have a lot of "me" for Him to deal with. There are moments in life, when I realize I am totally out of control. I am not able to make things go my way. I am not able to hold back the hurt. I am not able to save me from my own self. It makes me fearful, it makes me angry, it makes me feel helpless.
I throw a fit.
I cry my head off.
I try to fix things.
I give up.
If I am smart anyway.
Sometimes, I repeat those first three things about fifty times.
I am currently in round thirty-seven.

That is when I remind myself......

He is Patient
He is Strong
He is Faithful

He is more than that...

He is Righteous
He is my Father
He is Eternal
He is my Redeemer
He is Lord
He is Sovereign
He is Beautiful
He is Holy
He cannot lie
He is my Refuge
He is my Rock
He is my Salvation
He is the Prince of Peace
He is Forgiving
He is my Shelter from the storm
He is my Shield
He is the Beginning
He is the End
He is my Shepherd
He is Loving
He is Jealous
He is Forgiving
He is Just
He is Kind
He is the King of Kings
He is the Lord of Lords
He is my Savior
He is my Coming King

He is all of the things I need and more...that list is just a start.
I think of the worship song "How He Loves Us". It makes me so thankful He loves me in spite of myself. He loves me when others just want to throw in the towel.
I am not worthy or deserving.
His Grace truly is Amazing.