Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My trip to the DMV

If you didn't read my post about how much I hate to wait, you might want to refer back before reading any further.

I am sure none of you allow your driver's license to expire, right? You are diligent and organized and watch for the letter to come in the mail.  The thing is I didn't see the renewal come in the mail. (Well, I did find it yesterday while looking for scissors to open a box of cereal.)  But I didn't realize my license was so past due until I was in the bank last month, notarizing some papers for China. I was there with Scott and our friend Cindee....

Teller: Oh lookee here! Your license is expired!

Michelle: Yep, I guess it is ( with pursed lips)

Teller: You better get that taken care of. I am sure you are going to have to take the whole test over again since it has been so long.

Michelle: I don't think so. I am pretty sure you don't have to take the drive again.

Teller: Oh I think you do! (sweetly)

Michelle: Well then, (insert steely eyes) I hope you are correct. Because I would love to take that drive test again
Scott: You  would want to take the written too?

Michelle: Yes, and I rock at parallel parking, so it would be perfect.

I was clearly being stubborn. I should have gone the next day to the DMV....but I didn't want to wait in that line!!!

Well, fast forward a month. I was on my phone while driving...OH YES, I KNOW......I am not supposed to do that. I admit it. I was wrong. It's just that I have lost about eight of the ear pieces, and I was on a tiny little street, so I did it. I feel bad, and I told that to the motorcycle cop who pulled me over.

 I leaned out the window and said in a bright voice,
"But sir! I was in a school zone and doing 5 under! Doesn't that count for something??"

I think the police have a new tactic these days. Have you noticed they are so darn nice now? He nodded and told me good job. He smiled and agreed that it is so hard to keep those silly earpieces from getting lost....Oh and he also knew how renewing your license can just slip right BY YOU..... YES EVEN if your birthday was in MARCH.

He was so kind all the while writing me a ticket for $ 672.00.  I hate to admit it to you, but I even threw in the I am adopting an orphan and my mind has been on that and all of that paperwork. He said,
"Oh, I KNOW there is so much paper work. I am a notary. Our friends are adopting. I notarized all of their paperwork, even in the middle of the night sometimes."

He told me if I went in the next day the judge would most likely drop the fine. So I had no choice. I woke the kids up and announced we were going the the DMV. They gathered crayons, snacks, the portable DVD and water bottles. I stopped and got them lunch to eat while we waited. I was prepared. And I couldn't wait to come home, and blog about my long, horrible wait. About fighting kids, rude people, and bad photographs.

It was 11:47 when I walked in. I took my number. It was 63. They were currently serving number 62. It was eerie in there. So empty. One man sat to my right reading a John Grisham novel. He had on the darkest sunglasses, I don't know how he could see anything. There were no others.


I began to walk forward. I know this is not a good analogy, but I felt like I was walking towards the pearly gates or something. The huge echoey room, my expired license in hand and a sorrowful face.

"Wow, it is empty in here," I said.
"Don't ever expect to see this again in your lifetime," she said.
She asked me to read the top line in the view finder. I asked her to please attach the little papers for my forehead to lean on. I passed with flying colors. I wrote my name on a piece of paper. I handed her $25.00 plus $10.00 for the late fee ( I told you, Bank Lady) and she told me to take a seat until they called my name. I laughed as I walked over to the seat because there was nobody else there to call BUT me. I barely sat down and she yelled my name.
I walked toward the counter with the camera. There was one lady who just had her picture taken. "62" I assumed. She told me to stand behind the green line.


"Oh whoops, she said. "You have a tiny piece of hair sticking up."
"Thank-you!: I said, fixing my hair in the mirror.
 I looked over at # 62 and smiled. She said how wonderful that was that she actually told me my hair was messy.


"OK! All done!" she said, and handed me my temporary license.
The picture was great! It looked like a glamour shot!
I went out to the kids. It was 11: 51!!!
Autumn was so surprised! She told me we were all prepared for nothing.
And now I can't even complain about long lines, rude people, OR bad photographs.

Now I just hope the courtroom is the same way...


  1. You are amazing babe! I'm supposed to be going to bed to catch my early flight and now I can't stop laughing. I'm calling ABC tomorrow to pitch your own reality show! :-)

  2. Ok... I am not laughing... well, actually I am - you crack me up and I must say... you are my type of person... I can see we are going to get along famously - since you told the bank teller stubbornly what for... hehehehehehe... yep, you are my kindred spirit :)

  3. Michelle, oh how I love reading your blogs!! It's always exactly what I need to raise my spirits! U should do a reality show! Your kids are a walking comedy with all of their conversations! I love it! Luv & miss u all!!

  4. Michelle

    I too chuckled while reading your blog. You could have taken pictures of the empty office, of your kids anxiously awaiting you after several hours...the list goes on.

    I enjoy reading your blog and the happenings in your life. How did things go with the judge?

    Wishing you a great day!

  5. Love this one. I was hooked. Your writing sucked me in, and I was hoping that more happened so there was more to read!

  6. This is a tale....a fable perhaps...I'm assuming you were then graciously escorted by Bigfoot to the parking lot where you stumbled upon a crumpled piece of paper with colonel sanders original recipe on it and made it for dinner! Love you Mikki!