Monday, October 3, 2011

Little Miss Muffet

Why is it a spider can strike such terror in most people?

I. hate. them.

I know... I know....they eat harmful insects. Their venom is used to make glue and even artificial muscles. But they are so creepy. I was in the cellar tonight going through boxes and bins and when I was done I felt like I needed a shower after getting all dusty. While I was taking my ponytail out of my hair a huge spider came crawling down my neck. I felt like Elvira. I screamed and it fell to the ground, no doubt from my shrill voice. I  instantly jumped onto the counter with my knees up.

.................There is always that moment when I am staring at the spider wondering if it is worth it to smash it because it is oh so gross and I then run the risk of it jumping me and taking me to the ground. And then I think of my dear sweet children, and I know I have to kill it because it might crawl into their beds with them. Some people scoop them up kindly take them outside and set them free. But the way I look at it, if he (yes he) comes into my territory, it's fair game. So I leaned down, grabbed my rubber boot and proceeded to pummel it. A rubber boot is surprisingly ineffective. He almost made it out alive, but I threw my boot at the last second before he slipped under the door, and I pinned him.

I think Tayler inherited my love for spiders. She is always employing the help of her brother. He hunts them down in her room and kills them. She has a phantom spider that only she can see. Beau has yet to find it. Here is a picture of him searching through her laundry.

We were in the van the other day trying to find a garage sale. We were just about to go into a roundabout and she started screaming. That's never good. I was looking for an animal in the road, or a gunman. She was freaking out. I saw nothing. She unbuckled her seat belt and threw herself into the backseat. I didn't know which road I was to take because she had the map. "WHAT?!" I yelled.

There was a spider on the DASH she loudly informed me. I looked and sure enough there he was. He was digging his little fangs into the dashboard and looking right at me. By now I had entered the roundabout and I was also screaming. I had no idea which road to take so I kept going around and around. By the third time I exited the circle and pulled into the first driveway. We skidded to a stop and jumped out. The only thing I could find to kill it was a bridal magazine.THWAP!

"Press hard on it!" Tayler yelled.

I did. It worked. We looked up gasping for breath and saw we were at the estate sale by total accident. I tore the page off that had the expired spider and tossed it in the trash on our way in.

I saw a Mentos commercial starring a spider and had to laugh. I laughed because the woman in it KNOWS exactly what that spider is capable of doing. I picture this happening to Beau when he finally comes face to face with the phantom spider in Tayler's room.


  1. I truly do love reading your blog. I learned something and laughed a lot! And by the way the commercial was hilarious.

  2. Thank you sis! See you tomorrow!