Saturday, March 17, 2012

Nose Piercing Birthday



 I had a very nice birthday. It's kind of funny because I didn't make plans on purpose. I just wanted to see how the day played out. It started with a photo shoot with myself, Autumn and Havensong. They were the only ones around so they were the ones in the pictures. Then, I had a nice visit with my friend, Kristy. Autumn wanted to go get our nails done, so we dropped Chase off at a friend's house for a birthday party and went to the mall. I decided last minute to bring Beau and Havensong with us because I wanted to spend time with them. They were my birthday "party." When we parked Beau looked at me and said,

     "Mom, it's your 40th birthday and I think you should get your nose pierced. Follow me."

I told him I wasn't going to do that. I had already asked a few people if they thought I was too old to get one. Some told me it fit my personality and I could totally rock it. Others told me no way; I was too old for sure. I told Autumn my reservations. She said,

     "Mom! Now you have to get one just to prove you are not too old to do anything. It's a must now, don't you see that?"

I saw amazing logic in that. She was right. I walked into the piercing store at the mall. I talked to the employees for a while. They told me I had a great nose and should do it. (Of course they said that.) They also told me it hurt less than a tattoo. Well then. Ok. I chose which one and waited for my turn. My heart was beating a little in my throat. I looked at all of the noses around me to help myself feel better in my decision. I asked one lady if she like her nose ring. She nodded and motioned me to come over to her. I looked behind me, wondering if she was talking to me. She was. I walked over and she whispered,

     " I would never let mall piercers do anything to me. Why would you not go to someone who specializes in it?? I can call my guy and hook you up. He is certified, and way more talented."

I told her I had just paid. She said,

     "No, what you need is to get the East Indian method. They stick three sticks up your nose and stretch it so they pierce the thinnest part."

I felt the inside of my nostril. It suddenly seemed really thick. I had never noticed I had thick nostrils!! Oh GREAT. Now what was I going to do? She called her guy but turns out, he was on sabbatical. I didn't know piercing was so taxing an occupation. I guess I had to make a choice. Let some mall worker pierce my nose or wait for the  burned out master piercer. But it wouldn't be my 40th birthday much longer so I was in a pickle. I walked to the back and told the girl I couldn't do it. I relayed all of the information I had just received. She shook her head. She proceeded to show me all of the brand new packages. She showed me her license. She told me they were totally safe and why would I want to be pierced by a tattoo artist anyway? She did hundreds a week. We went back and forth until her logic did make more sense. She knew this piercer guy they were talking about and after hearing her description, she seemed a much nicer choice. I liked the shiny, mainstream, happy, mall setting. I looked at her and could tell she was tiring of me. Beau seemed equally frustrated but I told him to zip it because it was my nose. My children so badly wanted to see their mother's nose sporting a diamond. I said to the lady,

     "I am making too much of this aren't I? It's just a needle through my nose, not rocket science. I mean, I could TRIP and this could happen to me. Ok, just do it."


     "Sh@#@$$%#@@!!!!! Sorry Autumn!" I yelled.

 I was so shocked at how bad it hurt. I felt like some guy had just rammed a spear through my nostril after getting a running start. And WHY did I think it wouldn't hurt?! What was the matter with me? It's a NEEDLE through my face! The tears poured and I got dizzy. She asked me if I wanted juice. Yes. And a sucker. I was crunching on a Tootsie Pop and sucking down a Capri Sun with a needle hanging out of my nose. Happy Birthday to me.
 I had to lay down because I felt woozy.

When we left Autumn and Beau were looking at me like I was so darn cool. Autumn said,

     "If I didn't know you I would think you were 32."

Oh how I laughed.

Next, we went and got our nails done. I argued with the lady over painting my nails black. She said it was ugly. I said it would match everything. She said no. I said I just got my nose pierced, I am now 40 and I want the dang black polish. I told Beau to sit down and get a pedicure. It was my birthday, he was my party guest and he was going to participate.

Havensong sat at my feet and played on the phone. The lady told me I was crazy for wanting the black polish and I was crazy for having five kids. I told her I was thinking of having a few more. She just shook her head. But she did tell me I should be a hand model. I really missed my calling there....



After that we went to my favorite place to eat. Asian Bistro. Kyle met us there. We had a great dinner. But it's always great there. ALWAYS. Nancy and Wilson treat their customers like they are family. They are so kind and the food is the best.


....As I was driving home I received a video from Scott. He had 2,000 people sing me Happy Birthday. Icing on the cake.

So very sweet.

5 comments:

  1. You're hilarious and brave. L.O.L.

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  2. Super funny. I have no idea who you are, but we are living in a parallel universe. My daughter wants to take me to a tattoo shop tonight to have mine done. I wish you hadn't written the part about the spear :/

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