Thursday, November 19, 2009

Santa spreads Swine Flu?

Tonight at dinner my daughter told me that it was going to be mandatory in some malls for kids to provide proof of swine flu immunity before sitting on Santa's lap.


That is going a bit far. I have a better idea. Why don't they just form two lines? One line for the shot, the other one for pictures. Or maybe Santa himself could administer the shot to each child before they sat down. Forget the candy canes! (I say this tongue in cheek because my children don't get vaccinated at all. But that is a whole different post that I will save for another day when I feel like getting into that battle.) I read up on this story and found out there are two sides. Evidently those pig germs can hide in Santa's beard quite easily. Dr. James Orlowski is the head of Pediatrics at University Community Hospital and says bacteria and viruses can live up to eight hours in clothing! So.... before all of those North Pole impostors start demanding things of innocent children, I think they should shoulder some of the responsibility! Here are some suggestions to consider.

*He could sport a new clean cut look. Beards are Swine Flu breeding grounds. (Sorry, Dad)

*He could wear a mask.

*He could wear disposable suits

*Each child could spray him down with Lysol before they sit down.

*He could use a webcam from his workshop.

* He could sit in a glass cubicle and use a microphone.

I am not suggesting skipping Santa's lap this year. He has bills to pay too. I understand he is offering his lap to society and is taking a risk. But is it a bit much demanding a shot record in exchange for his....empty promises?

And by the way....Rudolph has LYME DISEASE written all over him........what should we do about THAT??


  1. LOL HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is so funny!!!

    Actually, Santa's Lobbiest Elves are going to be at your door becuase you are being intolerant of Santa's demands!!!! :)

    We didn't get the shot either, I hope Swine Flu is obsolete by the time Easter is here because it could mutate into something worse when crossed with bunny DNA.

  2. HAHAHAHAHA Kristy you are too funny! Bunny DNA. I love you.

  3. Why is my comment box so far away? Can anyone tell me that?

  4. You are crackin me up Michelle!
    On a serious note, I will be waiting for your post on vaccinations and why your children do not get them.