Can I have five minutes, please?

I had just finished the kid's school work. Autumn and Chase were in a mood. You know the kind....they were playing but it was right on the edge of fighting. They were laughing, but very close to tears. I could feel it coming. But I was in the middle of writing a new post. I was trying to tell you all about the truth behind the Egg Industry. My train of thought kept getting derailed. I stopped about ten times to ask them to please choose another room to play/fight in. They were not catching my vision. They wanted to roll around at my feet.

So I yelled.

I will admit it. Not loud enough to consider it a scream, but loud enough to stop them in their tracks.

"Can you PLEASE just give me FIVE MINUTES to finish this?!"

Blank stares.

"Really, I am just asking for FIVE SHORT MINUTES to myself so I can think....PLEASE?!"

They marched out of the living room. Ahhhhhh.....Were was I? Oh yes, National Egg Month...blah blah blah......then I heard fighting and scuffling in the kitchen accompanied by a series of beeps. I stopped typing.

"OK! COME HERE! FRONT AND CENTER!"

They obeyed but were clear across the room. Angry faced.

"Closer."
Two Steps.
"CLOSER"
Five steps.

I asked them what was going on. Autumn calmly said,
"Chase is trying to set the timer!"
I looked at Chase. His eyes wide, his mouth wide open.
"Why?" I asked meekly.
"I have to set the timer and she won't let me!" he wailed.
"Why?" I asked again...
He threw his hands up in the air.
"BECAUSE I CAN'T COUNT TO FIVE MINUTES!!! He explained...shocked at our ignorance.
Wow...he was literally going to give me peace for five minutes. He wasn't even being rude. He was just being honest.
Autumn looked at him and sadly shook her head.
"That is just an EXPRESSION," she told him.
He looked at us shocked.
"HOW am I supposed to know what an expression is?!" He asked.
Autumn looked at me smugly, with her thumb pointed to him and said,
"Now you have your next blog post."

I laughed. Hard. Autumn laughed. Hard. Chase walked out. He didn't think it was very funny.
They ended up finding something fun to do and I had thirty whole minutes to myself. No timer involved.