Thursday, March 11, 2010

Breast Milk Birthday Party....BYOB!

My Dad is a breath of fresh air. He is himself all of the time. He may be the most unique person walking around today. He isn't concerned by what others think. And that is what people love about him. It is a sad thing indeed when we change who we are just to conform to what others want us to be. My Dad has taught me to be proud of who I am....proud of my "King" "King" sense of humor, my "King" sappy-ness, My "King" laugh....and even that "King" nervous stomach....(right Jodi?)

For the sake of this post, I am going to focus on the "King" sense of humor. My Dad is such a kidder. Like you have never seen before. He will push the limit like no other...but he gets away with it somehow. I know that is where I get my love for laughter. Isn't it just addicting? Is there anything more fun than just laughing until you cry? It's good for you. Laughter lowers stress hormones, it decreases pain, it boosts immunity, and is an anti-inflammatory! Everyone should laugh a lot each day. And I mean bent over gasping for breath laughter. I had a lot of that growing up.

My Dad would dress up like a woman and wait for me at my bus stop.

If my sister and I saw a cute boy we knew he would pull the truck up onto the curb and holler out the window to him.

He hid under my bed often times and grabbed my ankles and pulled me under. (I still have the urge to run and jump into bed from five feet away)

He woke me up in the morning with the Vulcan Toe Hold. I don't know if I spelled that right or if Vulcan is even a word. He laughed...I cried. Getting pulled out of bed and across your floor at 6 AM is no laughing matter.

He taught us to hate Honda motorcycles and to mercilessly make fun of anyone who rode one. He would leave piles of rice under the exhaust of his friend's Rice Burners...

I saved my toenails for him for one year in a little vile. It's one of his prized possessions.

He hid in the back of his friends truck and grabbed him from behind while he was driving and made him pee his pants.

He rode his Harley through the paper mill and got fired. I asked him why he did that and he said "Because I could"

He made a guy go deaf after he blew him up with an M200...his hearing eventually came back though.

He LIVED in his tighty-whities.....and if we came home late he would meet us at the door in them, gun in hand. Not so funny, but you get the picture. He didn't care if we had friends over... he would come out in his underwear, pour himself some Cheerios and munch away. If you have seen his legs. You would know why this is so funny.

One time he thought it would be hilarious to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me to get ready for school. So I did. I got ready and started walking to school at 3 AM. He pulled his truck up...laughing...and told me to go back to bed. HA.HA.

He would put us in the back of the truck and take us for rides. He would slam on the brakes and we would all roll against the cab. Laughing, bleeding. I think Candi got seriously hurt and Mom got mad. Thanks ruined it for all of us. ;)

He drove the Sunday School bus down Hamburger Hill going about 90 mph. Kids went flying in every direction. All we could hear was the roar of the engine and his cackling as we were flung into the isle.

Maybe you have seen his "Hand" that he carries around with him. The Hand shows up all over the place.

I know there are many more stories that my sisters could remember. The point is...he is crazy...and that is so much fun.

Here is his latest....Eighteen years ago his friends were over visiting. They had a newborn baby boy. My Dad asked the Mom for some of her breast milk. She obliged...My Dad told her that he was going to save it until their son turned eighteen. On that day he planned on having him over for coffee, using the breast milk as the creamer. That is how they would celebrate his big day. Well....that milk has been carted from house to house every time they moved. I can't remember it NOT being in the freezer. That baby boy is coming over on the 21st to finish what my Dad started so long ago. My sister is a wonderful cake decorator...and you can imagine what kind of cake we will be having. She is contacting channel 12 News just in case they want to cover this momentous event. Watch for the pictures on Facebook...if you aren't my Dad's friend you better request him fast so you don't miss out. You will laugh I am sure....and you will feel all the better after you do.


  1. I LOVE Mic King and the entire King family!
    Great story Michelle.

  2. Your dad is the coolest for picking on those rice burner guys :)

  3. So how did it go? Need an update on the b'day party.