Friday, October 23, 2009

Chick Magnet Part two

I am going to unfold for you more of the story about our rooster/hen, whichever he was. He seemed to recover from his sneezing fits nicely. We were now just so curious to see if we did indeed have a rooster in our midst. I decided to research his breed and learn what I could about it just in case. I don't like surprises. I like to know what I am getting into. Here is what I found out about Leghorn Roosters:

1) They are the meanest breed of roosters out there.

2) They are the meanest breed of roosters out there.

3) They are the meanest breed of roosters out there.

Great. I had a possible terrorist on my hands.
I read about a lady that had three Free-Roaming Leghorns. When she came home each night they would be standing in her driveway waiting for her with little leather jackets on and cigarettes folded up in their sleeves. They would wait until she got out of her car and then jump her. Needless to say they ended up as soup.
I couldn't find one positive story.... and I searched....believe me. I ended up back at the feed store to consult with Jerry. Poor, patient Jerry.
I walked in the door and this time he clapped and said "Look folks, it's my favorite customer!" I couldn't tell if he was being saucy. I decided to take it as a compliment and waved at everyone.
As I waited for my turn I tossed the words around in my head so I would know exactly how to convince him to take this chicken off my hands.
He smiled without teeth showing and looked at me. Blink....blink.... I took a breath, "Jerry....I think I have made a big mistake. I have a feeling that Leghorn is a rooster!" He didn't say anything. I went on to tell him that I had read about this breed and found out some very bad things. Things that would make a grown man cry. I feared for my life and the lives of my children. This was no laughing matter. I had to bring that little allergy ridden chicken back where I found him.
He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward...." is the deal." Ok...I was all ears. He talked slowly...."Best case scenario, it's a hen." Fine I thought...he is right, it could be. "Mid case scenario, it's a rooster, but he is nice" Yes....I suppose there was a chance of that. "Worst case scenario it IS a rooster and he's violent and dangerous...." I asked him what would I do if we had a worst case on our hands. He then looked at me with the eyes of an honest man and promised me that if that happened he would hire a hit man to come in at night and drag Chick Magnet out by his feet and kill him.
"Who on earth would do that?" I asked. Jerry shrugged and pointed to his employee. "Marshall will do it." I looked at Marshall and felt relieved when he nodded his head. Jerry told me it was his personal guarantee.
I had no choice.
It was my only option.
As I was walking out the door Jerry stopped me. "Ya know," he said, "I told my wife at the dinner table the other night about you. I told her that you used to drive me crazy, but that now you are really starting to grow on me!" He was smiling big. "Thanks," I said. I hoped he remembered that if I ever decided to get goats.

1 comment:

  1. I look forward to new blog posts from my wife... they put a smile on my face! At least you all know where I rank on her blog post ladder: friends, kids, beef, chili, shoes, etc. Maybe someday she'll write about her adoring husband.