Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Crack and Scream

I am really sorry if you all are tired of hearing about my rooster problems. But it is really stressing me out. Bethany, if you are reading this....Why did I let that cute face of yours talk me into stopping at the feed store that fateful day?

We now have two problems on our hands....For one, Chick Magnet has decided he hates Autumn. He tries to maim her anytime she comes near the coop. She now travels with a big stick to collect the eggs. We wait until he is in the yard and then we shove something in front of the hen house door and gather the eggs as he throws himself at us violently.

The other problem we have, I like to call "Crack and Scream". As I make breakfast each day I slowly get the eggs out of the refrigerator and stare at the carton. I wonder if I will find any signs of ....ya chicks....if I don't, I sigh with relief and tell myself I must be crazy for wanting to get rid of Chick Magnet. I mean after all he is just doing what he was put here on the earth to do. It's not his fault. If there IS any little surprise inside after I crack the egg, I scream at the top of my lungs, throw the egg in the trash and tell myself to just let Jerry send the hit man.

Yesterday I was sharing this with my fellow home school Moms while the kids were in classes. I happened to be peeling an egg that I had boiled that morning for my lunch. They thought the whole "Crack and Scream" concept was so amusing. I ate one egg and thought to myself how lovely it was that I was eating eggs from chickens I had raised from babyhood. Living off the land...with this economy it was the way to go. I showed the Moms the pretty green shell of the next egg I was peeling. I broke the egg in half....... and SCREAMED. There before me was a tiny little BOILED baby chick!!!!!! My stomach turned over and over. My friend Tammy was horrified. She said if that happened to her she would NEVER eat another egg again. Kids came over to look and I am pretty sure they were as traumatized as I was. What if I boiled it alive?! What if I had EATEN it?! It had little EYES....ugh....


We had asked Jerry how this could be happening if we collected the eggs everyday. He said it was impossible. It's as if Chick Magnet has some "Super-Hero Chicken Sperm" to form a baby chick in a single DAY.

I couldn't eat for hours. And when I did, I ate vegetables. That night I went through Taco Time and got a cup of White Chicken Chili. I took one bite and almost lost it. I dumped it in the parking lot and went into Safeway and got a protein bar. I don't know how long it will take before I can eat.....chicken ....again. I also now know that Chick Magnet needs to go. But I feel bad sending him away from the only home he has ever known. Roosters are tossed out on their ears everyday for just being themselves.

Sigh......I guess we can just let him roam free and guard our house? But then we will have to look over our shoulders constantly. He will be angry at us for taking him away from his hens and will retaliate. I just know it.

Darlene...if you are out there....what do I do???


  1. They eat the egg/chicken like that all the time in China, I think. Having said that, reading your blog today almost made me puke...I think I would have had I been you that day. I would get rid of the rooster very quickly. Put a sign up in the feed store and give him away to the first taker.

    I love your blog by the way!

  2. I think they eat them in the Phillipeans too, it is called Balut. My friends in Everson with the farm ( have a light they use to see if there is blood in the eggs. I'd invest in the light until you get rid of the rooster. I know they would help you if you have questions, so give them a call, go see them or email them.

  3. Nicole...I was going to ask you the name of that farm today. Thanks :)
    I think it's so mean to eat baby chicks on purpose though....yuck.

  4. love my blog? That makes me so happy to hear someone say that. :)

  5. I have now become a devoted follower of your blog. You are hilarious Michelle, and an amazing writer! So great to hear what's going on in your life!

  6. I am so grateful that I was not there that day lol!!! I did have an egg salad sandwich at Fairway a few days after you told me this and I could barely eat it!!! Sadly, Kourtney and me were splitting a meal and she wanted THAT sandwich soooo bad so I had to! I will be traumatized for a while after this story! :)

  7. Great Story about you me and the chicken aka chick magnet I have totally enjoyed being part of it and folks this is all real a chicken once said not everything tastes like chicken Enjoy Jerry @ Elenbaas Country Store