Thursday, October 29, 2009

Neuter Chick Magnet?


n. A male chicken castrated when young to improve the quality of its flesh for food.

My sister has decided to take Chick Magnet and let him live in her barn. She thought that a rooster this famous should not end up on the chopping block, or be dumped off in the woods to fend for himself. My only concern is whether or not he would be sad to live alone in a barn. I offered to send a hen along, but she doesn't want baby chicks running around.

I arrived at our homeschooling co-op and told my friends I had a possible solution for my rooster. Then something hit me like a ton of bricks....

Could I have Chick Magnet NEUTERED??!!!

This idea caused not a little laughter. I decided to call my vet right then. I dialed the number and put it on speaker phone so my five friends could hear the outcome....

Receptionist: Kulshan Vet, how may I help you?

Michelle: Ummmmm, yes.....Do you neuter roosters?


Michelle: This isn't a prank call, please don't hang up.

Receptionist: Neuter a rooster? You want to NEUTER a rooster? I don't know.....ummm hold on...

pause...... (insert friends laughing under their breath....holding heads in hands.)

Vet: Are you inquiring about having your rooster fixed?

Michelle: Yes. I am sick and tired of fertilized eggs but I don't want to get rid of him. I love him.

Vet: It can be done, but bird surgery is very risky.

Michelle leans over and mouths to Ranee...."THE CHOPPING BLOCK IS VERY RISKY"

Vet: I wouldn't feel comfortable performing surgery on a pet knowing there was a50% chance he could die. His little heart might not be able to take it. Maybe you should just separate him.

Michelle: Ok....I understand. (sob) I will find another option.

Vet: I'm sorry. I wish you luck. Goodbye.

Michelle: Thank you. Bye.

I hung up and faced my friends who were by now in tears from laughing at me. SIGH.........

I sat there stunned. Was there no hope? Kristy took her phone out and told me her sister is a vet tech in Missouri and she would call her. She wasn't available but the Vet answered the phone. Kristy explained my problem. He thought it was best to just get rid of him. Kristy took a breath....."But she loves him"......At that point he started to laugh and she handed me the phone. I told him the vet here wouldn't do it. He said it was very easy to do and the folks up in Washington State just didn't know poultry. I asked him if he would perform the surgery if I were to fly Chick Magnet out to him? He thought I was kidding and hung up.

I guess I am back at square one. One lady suggested I under NO circumstance let him die. She thinks he would be the perfect hero for a children's book.



  1. Michelle,
    I have some coyotes that could use a distraction from my hens, if you want to donate Chick Magnet to a good cause. You could just think of him as a martyr....

  2. Shelly...Chick Magnet is getting so popular...he has to live now. I see a children's book in the making. :)

  3. sometimes, childrens books have the hero sacrifice for the good of the order.... ok, maybe not in children's books - but in some books....

  4. LOL reading this again gave me such a laugh!